Easter 2015

     My parents came to visit me this weekend for Easter. We had a fun time! On Friday, we went shopping a little and baked a cake to our annual family Easter lunch the next day. On Saturday, we went to our family gathering. My parents and I tried to fly my new butterfly kite. We tried and we failed! Unfortunately, it was not windy enough to get it in the air. :(  Later, we went to my Aunt's house where I got to cross something off my bucket list! I have always wanted to ride a horse and I finally did! It was kinda scary getting on her because it was pretty high up. I held on to the saddle for dear life ha! My feet did not reach the stirrups either. I learned how to steer the horse with the reins, which is different than I thought. I'm rather proud of myself! But, I would never have made it as a cowgirl in the Wild West! If that horse started running, I would have been terrified! 
     Sunday, of course was Easter! Resurrection Day! Up from the grave He arose!!! Hallelujah, He is Alive!!!!! I'm so thankful for my Savior, Jesus Christ, and that He went to the cross for me and rose again three days later! He is the best decision I have ever made. Without Him, life would have no purpose or meaning. I hope you know Him too!
     We went to church on Sunday and came back for a pretty tasty lunch. BBQ pulled pork and macaroni and cheese. Yum, yum! :) It was a great weekend!!!

Love my new kicks!

My Pinterest inspired bunny cake!!!

Let's go fly a kite!

Or not!

Yeehaw!

That is a tiny baby rabbit!

The fields here are covered in yellow flowers! So beautiful!!!

Me and Effie Pooh!

Me and Mama!

Sunsets, Clouds, Sunrises, Rainbows, Butterflies

Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord from the heavens! Praise him from the skies! Psalms 148:1 NLT

The heavens tell about the glory of God. The skies show that his hands created them. Psalm 19:1 NIRV

Praise him, sun and moon! Praise him all you twinkling stars! Psalms 148:3 NLT

The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament shows and proclaims His handiwork. Psalm 19:1 AMP

Praise him, skies above! Praise him vapors high above the clouds! Psalms 148:4 NLT

God's glory is on tour in the skies, God-craft on exhibit across the horizon. Madame Day holds classes every morning, Professor Night lectures each evening. Psalm 19:1 MSG

Let every created thing give praise to the Lord, for he issued his command, and they came into being. Psalms 148:5 NLT

The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftmanship. Psalms 19:1 NLT

He set them in place forever and ever. His decree will never be revoked. Psalms 148:6 NLT

Let them all praise the name of the Lord. For his name is very great; his glory towers over the earth and heaven! Psalms 148:13 NLT

The heavens declare the glory of God; And the firmament shows His handiwork. Psalms 19:1 NKJV

My Unusual Story

     Each of us is living our life story so to speak. They are all unfinished stories until we take our final breath. Most of the time, we don't understand what is going on while we are in the middle of them. Sometimes I feel like I have a very unusual story. Here I am 30 years old and single. And not just single---I’m single with no past, present, or seemingly future prospects. Seriously. There were no awkward dates in high school. No going to prom. College boyfriends? Nope. No post-college boyfriends either for that matter. Sure, there have been a few to look at the “bait” as my mom says, but none to actually take it, lol.  I'm sure I'm not the only person this has ever happened to, but it feels that way at times! 

     Let me just say, it is SO confusing! I watch as all my friends get asked out on dates, get boyfriends, get married, and start their families. I wonder, “What’s wrong with me??”  There was a time in my life I honestly believed that I was too shy, too short, not pretty enough, or not skinny enough for guys to be attracted to and interested in me. I mean, I had to blame it on something, right?? Maybe I’m too this or not enough that. But, I've learned that this is simply NOT true. Women with different shapes and sizes and personalities get into relationships all the time. As logical as this may be to you, it was news to me. There is no magic formula, Candace!      
     Now, I have a different mindset. I believe now more than ever before that I am amazing. Yes, I said it. I am amazing and beautiful. And I am totally not being conceited here. Trust me, I know I am no Victoria’s Secret model. I am not a size 0, 2, 4, 6, 8, and on and on. But you know what I am?? Uniquely me. One-of-a-kind. Candace. I'm the only me in this world. I am very short and curvy. I am awkwardly shy in groups yet talk too much when I am one on one with friends. I am sweet and loyal to a fault. I am a picky eater. I try to be a good friend, but I often mess up. I get angry and say things I shouldn't. I am honest, caring, and compassionate. I am intelligent and hard-working. I love kids and they usually love me. I am sincere. I am often unorganized. I have more unfinished projects and unread books than I can count. I try to be fashionable but can usually be found chilling in a t-shirt and shorts. I am not perfect. But you know what?! Beauty is not perfection. It isn't being who everyone thinks you should be. It is loving and living life confidently in who God designed you to be. 
                                     

     The flip side of this is that I now have nothing to “blame” my singleness on. It baffles me how other people seem to date haphazardly and get into and out of relationships on a whim and even enter into marriages so easily while I’m still dreaming of my first kiss. I scratch my head in bewilderment and ask, “What are these guys thinking?!?” It really hurts at times. My opinion has shifted from "Why would he want to date me?" to "Why wouldn't he want to date me??" The only answer I have is that God is ultimately writing my story differently than everyone else's. He is Sovereign and He knows what He's doing. This is such a cliché, but it is the truth. My story is so unusual and I know for certain that He has a purpose and a plan for this even though I can't see it or understand it or figure it out. 
     Even though it is difficult, I would not change any of it because I am on a journey that is bringing me closer to Him. Circumstances in my life are not just happenstance. God is working in the background orchestrating it all into a beautiful masterpiece. He is working all things for my good and His glory......whether or not my story ends with love, marriage, and a family of my own. I can't wait to see how my story unfolds. :)

 And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work]and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you. Philippians 1:6 AMP

Candace's Psalm

     Several months ago, I wrote somewhat of a poem. The other day, I found it in my journal. As I reread it, I thought, "This isn't finished!" So in that moment, I penned the latter half. I never thought of a title before. I simple called it Untitled. Now, I think Candace's Psalm fits it well. That is what it is. A psalm---a prayer, a cry, and praise to God. A psalm straight from my heart.

Candace's Psalm:

Hopes so high

Starting to be fulfilled.

Completely unbelievable

Oh, such a thrill!

Suddenly, dreams shattered

Hurt so deep

Doesn't make sense

What's the purpose in this?

All I can gather, 

All I can find,

Is that You, Oh Lord, 

Have a mysterious mind.

Your ways are perfect, 

Though they don't make sense.

All I can do is cling 

To Your hands.

You are drawing me closer,

You are doing a work!

I love You,I trust You, 

But not nearly enough!

So have Your way in my hopes,

Have Your way in my dreams,

Have Your way in my sorrows,

Have Your way in my pains.

I give them to You,

You alone know what to do!

Please make something beautiful

Out of this mess.

For so long I've held on to

Your promises.

Now I trust You enough

To give it all up.

I know You have a plan

And purpose in this.

Though I can't see it, 

You know what it is!

I don't know how,

And I don't know when.

But I will live passionately

Until then!

This story is Yours,

It has been from the start.

I can't wait to see

The ending You have planned!

Do as You will,

Do as You want.

In the meantime, please stay

Near to my heart! 

GPS

     Recently, I went to visit my pal Meghan in Memphis. We decided to have a shopping day. It was a lot of fun! On the way there, I punched her address into my Navigation App on my phone. It is just like a GPS and tells me which way to go. It guided me across several highways and interstates, through heavy traffic and road work. On the way home, I entered in my address. I figured it would be easy enough to get back. I quickly figure out that it was taking me a different way than I came. I thought, "Well, I guess I will get on the interstate somewhere else." Nope. It was dark. I did not know where I was. I was a little uncomfortable with the situation. As I sat at a red light, I remember thinking, "If only I could see the big picture and where I'm going to come out at, I would feel more comfortable." As SOON as I thought it, a light bulb went off in my head. I ultimately knew that I would get to my destination because my GPS would guide me there. In the same way, I believe God was showing me that I need to trust Him like I trust my GPS. When it is dark and I don't know where I am going. When I think I know the way, but He takes me a different way. I have to trust Jesus! I have to believe that He has a purpose for my life. That He has a purpose in things that I completely do not understand. That He works all things for my good and His glory. I eventually arrived on the highway that brought me home. I don't know why it took me an alternate route. I'm certainly not where I thought I would be at this stage of my life, but God has a plan! He knows where I'm going. I just need to trust Him. That seems to be the theme of what He's been trying to teach me for a couple of years now. Will I ever get it??
     I heard this quote from Corrie Ten Boom in church today: "When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer." I thought that was an awesome picture.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6 

What God Showed Me While I Was Making Jello

     I recently stumbled upon a recipe for finger jello by The Pioneer Woman. I was intrigued because I have been on a gummy candy kick lately. So, last night I thought I would give this a try. I love The Pioneer Woman. She has very specific step-by-step instructions with pictures. This particular recipe was easy, just time consuming. I started out great. I made the first batch of jello and was supposed to put it in the fridge for 15 minutes to set. While I was waiting, I went ahead and made the next layers to go on top. Well, I kept checking it and it wouldn't set. But I never waited the full 15 minutes. I finally thought, "Well, half of it is ready. I'll just go ahead and pour on the next layer." Big Mistake. Of course, it all mixed together. So, what did I do? I continued to pour the rest of the layers on. The result was not The Pioneer Woman's perfectly beautiful layers of red, white, and green jello. No. What I ended up with is a square pan of mostly white and pink mixed jello with hints of green, lol. And I admit---it is completely my fault. I did not follow the directions. I was impatient and thought I could speed the process up and get the same result. Wrong. And as I realized that, I also realized the same is true in my life. Sometimes Many times, I don't follow God's directions. I get impatient and try to speed things up. The result is never good. But maybe, just maybe, if I wait on God and follow His directions, the end result will be beautiful, just the way He planned. Scratch the just maybe. Definitely. It would definitely be the way He planned. But doing that is hard for me. I'm still learning. There, that is what God showed me while I was making jello. :)

Have Faith in God

     Last night before I went to sleep, I was talking to God. I think I said something along the lines of "I don't understand, I wish I could understand." I turned off my lamp. Seconds later, the chorus of the old hymn "Have Faith in God" was in my head. I haven't heard or sang that song in years. I could remember the chorus  but not the verses. So, I did what everyone does these days when they want to know something. I googled it! :) What the song lyrics contained amazed me. The fact that God put the song on my heart amazed me. In essence, He was telling me to have faith in Him---that He knows what is on my heart and has heard my prayers. Here is the song, written by Baylus Benjamin McKinney:

1 Have faith in God when your pathway is lonely;

He sees and knows all the way you have trod.

Never alone are the least of His children;

Have faith in God, have faith in God.

Chorus:

Have faith in God, He's on His throne;

Have faith in God, He watches o'er His own.

He cannot fail, He must prevail;

Have faith in God, have faith in God.

2 Have faith in God when your prayers are unanswered;

Your earnest plea He will never forget.

Wait on the Lord trust His Word and be patient;

Have faith in God, He'll answer yet. [Chorus]

3 Have faith in God in your pain and your sorrow;

His heart is touched with your grief and despair.

Cast all your cares and your burdens upon Him;

And leave them there, oh, leave them there. [Chorus]

4 Have faith in God though all else fail about you;

Have faith in God, He provides for His own.

He cannot fail though all kingdoms shall perish;

He rules, He reigns, upon His throne. [Chorus]

And Jesus, replying, said to them, "Have faith in God [constantly]. Truly I tell you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be lifted up and thrown into the sea!' and does not doubt at all in his heart but believes that what he says will take place, it will be done for him. For this reason I am telling you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe (trust and be confident) that it is granted to you, and you will [get it]." Mark 11:22-24 AMP

Letting Go and Letting God

Quotes from my daily email devotion this morning: 

"Throughout the pages of His Word, you're going to see the hidden hand of God...working in mysterious ways, in inexplicable ways. God is in the shadows arranging things, moving things people cannot see. That may be true in your life right now. God is working, but you cannot see Him working.We do not live by explanations. Life is not a problem to be solved; it is a mystery to be lived. Sometimes we must back off and simply see what I call the hidden hand of God. Just because today you cannot see the hand of God working doesn't mean God is not working."

~ The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever; Do not forsake the works of Your hands. Psalm 138:8

~ I will cry to God Most High, Who performs on my behalf and rewards me [Who brings to pass His purposes for me and surely completes them]! Psalm 57:2 

Jesus knows my heart and how I've tried to do what I believe He has been leading me to do. I've cried out to Him over and over and over. I pray with all my heart that He accomplishes His purposes and that He is working things out even though I can't see what He is doing. Even if He doesn't, He is good! Even though I may never fully understand His very mysterious ways, knowing Him is worth it. There is no way I could ever know Him enough!

Have Thine Own Way, Lord

 Singing this hymn as a prayer this afternoon:

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!

Thou art the potter, I am the clay.

Mold me and make me after thy will,

while I am waiting, yielded and still.

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!

Search me and try me, Savior today!

Wash me just now, Lord, wash me just now,

as in thy presence humbly I bow.

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!

Wounded and weary, help me I pray!

Power all power, surely is thine!

Touch me and heal me, Savior divine!

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!

Hold o'er my being absolute sway.

Fill with thy Spirit till all shall see

Christ only, always, living in me!

Untitled

The other day I found something I wrote a couple months ago:

Hopes so high

Starting to be fulfilled

Completely unbelievable

Oh, such a thrill!

Suddenly, dreams shattered

Hurt so deep

Doesn't make sense

What's the purpose in this?

All I can gather, 

All I can find

Is that the Lord has

A mysterious mind.

His ways are perfect, 

Though they don't make sense.

All I can do is cling 

To His hands.

He is drawing me 

Closer

He is doing a

Work!

I love Him, 

I trust Him, 

But not nearly 

Enough.

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     It is a beautiful spring day and this morning I went for a walk. I was thinking and praying about some things. Even if the Lord never gives me what I truly desire more than anything ever in my life, I'm here to testify that I will still have Jesus! This I know to be true. Listen to this verse: 

"This is a faithful saying:

For if we died with Him,

We shall also live with Him.

If we endure,

We shall also reign with Him.

If we deny Him, 

He will also deny us.

If we are faithless, 

He remains faithful;

He cannot deny Himself."

2 Timothy 2:11-13 

I absolutely love that! If we are faithless, He remains faithful!! The Message version puts it like this: "If we give up on him, he does not give up-for there's no way he can be false to himself." This is incredible to me. I'm going to be honest and say that sometimes I have wanted to give up on him. But thank the Lord that when that when I do that, He does not give up. It simply goes against His character. 

This verse has come across my radar a couple of times this week. "Just as you'll never understand the mystery of life forming in a pregnant woman, So you'll never understand the mystery at work in all that God does." Ecclesiastes 11:5 God is at work! I don't always understand it, but I believe it.

And finally, "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You." Isaiah 26:3 I'm trying to do that, and God is keeping me in perfect peace. 

Effie and Her Rabbit

Meet Effie's rabbit:

This is her absolute favorite toy!

She LOVES it.

But sometimes she rips it up and gets the stuffing out. 

Then, it has to be sewn back together.

The other day, my mom was doing just that.

Effie saw her with the rabbit.

And then that is all she wanted.

SHE WANTED HER RABBIT.

She started circling the table over and over.

She kept looking at my mom, whimpering pitifully.

Then, she started climbing in the chair beside her.

Watching.

Watching.

Watching. 

Then, she climbed onto the table!

Of course after I took a picture, I made her get down.

Then, she just lay down and waited.

I watched this entire scene unfold and thought it was so funny.

Then, I realized something. 

My mom wanted to give the rabbit to her, but she wasn't finished with it yet. 

                                                            The rabbit wasn't quite ready.

I couldn't help but think it is the same for me.

I act just like Effie.

I see evidence of God working in my life. 

But sometimes I get anxious and do everything in my power to get whatever He is working on.

But, my power alone can do nothing.

He has to do it.

He's the only one capable of doing it.

I know He wants to give me my heart's desires. 

He's just not ready yet.

He is completing it. 

When He gets it just right, He will give it to me.

His timing is perfect.

I just have to wait.